Blood
by Ffeona 'sarcasm-is-my-drug
Summary: Dark!Fic. Oneshot look. John finds out but what he sees is coloured by his feelings of having failed as a father. Dean/Sam Wincest.


Supernatural again

BLOOD

Supernatural

Dean/Sammy

NC-17

Dub-con, Underage (Sam 15, Dean 19), John Finds Out, implied

Summary; John finds out something about his sons but what is he actually seeing? It's from John's POV so it's only what he thinks he is seeing not necessarily a true interpretation of events.

There is blood. There is always blood on his boys. The first time Sammy had gotten injured because of a demon he had had his skull knocked about and John had been calm and collected and quick as he cleaned the wound. Afterwards he had given the boys a bunch of quarters and pointed them in the direction of an arcade, then locked himself in the bathroom where he shook and cried. No man should have to see his four year old son bloody and hurt. But this time it is different.

Another motel room. Another state. Sammy isn't five anymore and he insists that he hates being called Sammy so now Dean and John have to be careful when they use his affectionate nickname, but John still sees the way his youngest son lights up with pleasure when he ruffles the boy's hair and calls him Sammy. No, Sammy isn't five years old he's fifteen and this time it isn't a demon who's made him bleed – God knows that John wished it was – it was his brother.

Dean lies in slumber in his own bed not a foot away from Sammy. He's nineteen now, all grown up. John is used to the sight of blood on Dean's face, whether its from a fight at school or a blow from a Supernatural being it he's cut himself shaving or any of the other numerous ways that Dean manages to get injured it just isn't the same. With blood on his face Dean looks like a warrior. Sammy just looks like a child. And besides, this blood isn't on his face.

Sammy doesn't exactly look like the child John thinks of him as. He's tall, less than an inch shorter than his brother and the difference isn't noticeable with Sam on his own bed nearest to the door, lying there so still. He grew out of his baby fat a few years back and ever since it's like when ever he eats it adds another inch on his height. He is often mistaken for being the same age as Dean, something which never seems to please John's older son. And thinking about it now – only because he is forced to – John thinks that this constant assumption people make may have contributed to this scene in front of him now. But Sam isn't Dean's equal – not in age or weight (Dean has mussels and skills that made Sammy no match for him in a one-on-one situation) or in mind. Sammy's smarter, brighter, he has hopes and dream and willpower and he doesn't just agree with John because he is his dad. John had spent many a night driving across the state talking to his Sammy while Dean slept, arguing and explaining about why they had to move and why he can't go to boarding school or stay at Pastor Jim's or Bobby's or why they can't buy a house and why they have to hunt and learn bow hunting and how to load a gun. And most importantly why Dean has to do all these things. That is one of the biggest differences between John's Sammy and Dean. He loves them equally but Dean is a soldier; he is a follower and he is damn good at it. But when it comes to Sammy Dean is his protector, his body guard his guide to life. Sam looks up to Dean and believes him when he says 'it'll be alright, Sammy'. Which is what makes the sight of blood on Sammy's flaccid cock so abhorrent to John.

It's not because they are brother's. It's because Sammy believes Dean – and Dean used that trust and belief to mark Sammy with his blood.

John doesn't say anything, not this time. But after this he stops leaving them alone while he hunts and instead drags them out with him, citing that it is time they learn practically as the reason but really it is because he would much rather see Sammy marked with blood from a fight than like this. He also starts making, or rather allowing, Sammy to go to school properly. It's too late for Dean, John knows this and he only had his self to blame, but perhaps with proper social interaction with people other than his brother Sam stands a chance at being normal. He thinks this will deter the boys but three weeks later he walks in on Dean in the shower and this time the blood is being washed from his ass.

It's too much.

It is almost a relief when Sammy leaves. He's almost nineteen when he does having argued about it with Dean and john for several months, right up to the last possible chance to enrol. But nothing will stop him. John knows that he accidentally encouraged this in his attempts to normalise his younger son. His plan backfired but when he sees how completely destroyed Dean is John can't help but shout at Sam that he had better not come back. No brother should be that upset in this situation, and it tells John that the boys never grew out of their… behaviour. Maybe this way Dean will be forced to find a life of his own, without Sam.

It never happens.

John leaves eventually too. He knows this will hurt Dean, but not like Sam leaving had. He also knows that the first thing Dean will do upon realising John was gone would be to call Sam. At this point he doesn't care. He is too obsessed with avenging Mary and getting his revenge on the fowl demon who ruined his family. He also knows that Dean never became his own person without Sam; that Sam is a part of Dean and without him Dean would always be empty inside. This is his fault, and he curses the day he ever said 'look after Sammy'. Thirdly; in the unlikely possibility that John survives this he does want to see his younger son again. And his forth reason that he doesn't care is that he thinks that maybe these years apart have 'straightened' Sam out a little bit; so to speak.

When he sets eyes on the boys again he knows instinctively that his hope was in vein. He comes to Kansas to help, having briefly lost the scent of the demon, but he spots them from afar. They are just walking down the street towards the old house but their body language; if you can read it – and John can – is very telling. The way they invade each others personal space and feel comfortable doing so. The casual touches that linger too long, and the fact there are so many touches. The boys have only ever been tactile with each other, no one else. He knows they are still fucking.

John cannot bare to face them after that. So he hides at Missouri's and she tells him everything she read in their minds. How Dean was still the rude one, that his strongest desire was to protect Sam, followed sharply by this need to find John and his sense of loss and abandonment. She tells him about Jessica Lee Moore; Sam's girlfriend and even though John already knew about her death – it formed part of his hunting pattern – it surprises John to learn how much Sam loved her and scares him a little that in Sam's mind, somewhere in the back buried under layers of psychosis, Sam compares Jess and Dean; things like they like the same films, they have the same attitude towards sex, they both loved him…

Later on John meets up with his boys. He sees blood on them and knows it is from a battle with a demonic being but he cannot help but think about all the blood he cannot see but must be there, the blood on Dean's hands for taking away Sam's innocence…

And then John looks down at his own hands and sees the same blood on his hands, for taking away Dean's childhood, and giving him Sammy.

xXx

Please, please comment. It is my first proper dark!fic.


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